Subject: Self-introduction and Goals
Dear Professor Blackstone,
I am Quan Xin, a first-year Mechanical Engineering student in the
UCS1001-Critical Thinking and Communicating class, which you are teaching.
The purpose of this letter is to introduce myself to you.
In 2022, I graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic with a diploma in Mechanical
Engineering. My three-year journey at the polytechnic was not only enjoyable
but also incredibly enriching. It provided me with unforgettable memories and
real-life experiences that have equipped me for my future career. Honestly, I
was not particularly interest towards mechanical engineering, and all other
engineering programmes before my polytechnic life. However, as I progress
through my studies, I found my interest in the engineering field grows and
especially drawn to mechanical engineering. What sparks my interest is when I
realized that the world is rapidly transitioning into Industry 4.0. Industry
4.0 is revolutionizing the way companies manufacture, improve and distribute
their products. In mechanical engineering, a module name 'Integrated
Real-World Project.' firmly grabbed my interest. Through this module, I had
the opportunity to explore industrial automation and 3D modelling in machine
design through many projects related to industry 4.0 and all these experiences
deepened my understanding in industrial 4.0. Thus, I chose to pursue
Mechanical engineering in SIT where I can further my studies in mechanical
engineering and be prepared in this fast revolution world.
My strength is my ability to truly understand what my audience want. I can
create feasible and effective solutions to resolve my audience problem for
example. However, like everyone else, I am not perfect, I have weaknesses too.
One of my greatest weaknesses is public speaking in front of a large crowd. In
such situations, my voice tends to quiver, and my body will tremble due
anxiety. Nevertheless, I am determined to step out of my comfort zone and
conquer this challenge in this module, as there will be lots of opportunities
for me to deliver presentations in front of my fellow classmates.
My goal in this module is to hone my public speaking skills, ensuring that I
am well-prepared for the future workplace, where frequent presentations in
front large groups are common. I know that conquering fear requires pushing
boundaries, so I am determined to push myself out of the comfort zone, no
matter how tough it may be. I believe that with the support of you and my
fellow engineering peers, I can grow and become confident and fluent public
speaker.
Best regards,
Great introduction. I can picture a passionate engineer with tons of ideas. Hope you are able to overcome your fear in the near future. A small suggestion is to expand the description of Industrial 4.0.
回复删除Hello YK,
删除Thank you for your kind words and feedback! I appreciate your encouragement. Overcoming fear is indeed a continuous journey, and I'm committed to pushing my boundaries.
Cheers,
Quanxin
Hi Quan Xin, your introduction has given me a clearer look at who you are and your passion for engineering. I hope that in this module you will be able to achieve your goal of honing your public speaking skills. I look forward to hearing you present in class in the future!
回复删除Dear Quan Xin,
回复删除Thanks much for the well focused, clear and concise letter. You provide a plethora of supporting details for your main points, so that we get a good sense of who you are. I'm impressed by the description of how step by step you realized the value of studying ME.
It's also informative how you have openly explained your comm skills needs and how those tie to your module goals.
The language here is generally fluent, but there are a few areas where you need to do minor editing:
1. overuse of caps
-- a first-year Mechanical Engineering student > ?
-- a diploma in Mechanical Engineering. > (Will this phrase be capped or not?)
-- to pursue Mechanical engineering in SIT > ?
2. verb use
-- I was not particularly interest towards ... > (verb form) ?
-- as I progress through my studies, > (verb tense) ?
-- I found my interest in the engineering field grows and especially drawn to mechanical engineering. > (inonsistent tense usage) ?
-- What sparks my interest is when I realized that.... > (past or present?) ?
-- what my audience want. > (subject-verb disagreement) ?
Let's work on these.
I look forward to interacting with you more in the course of our work.
Best wishes,
Brad
Dear Professor Blackstone,
删除Thank you for your detailed feedback on my letters. I will focus more on my grammar when I write letters in the future.
Best regards,
QuanXin
Thanks for the great introduction Quan Xin! You were able to give me a thorough rundown on both your educational background and how your interest for mechanical engineering evolved. The organisation of the letter is well structured, starting with your background, highlighting your strengths and weaknesses, and concluding with a clear goal. You seem like you are aware of what you want to work on and are determined to overcome your challenges.
回复删除Overall, a well written post that carries your enthusiasm onto the reader. I look forward to working with you in class to overcome our personal challenges together. Cheers!
Dear Wei Jie,
删除Thank you for taking your time to review my letter! Really thank you for commenting on the different aspects of my letter.
Best wishes,
Quanxin